April has been a whirlwind of activity and continual movement. A visit to South Carolina, home of a very dear friend, led right into spring quarter. My new classes proved quite intense, emotionally depleting and disorienting. Somewhere in there I hosted a dinner for 20 people, got back into teaching and pretty much gave up on my usual commitment to self-care. I arrived as a student to one of my favorite yoga classes on Wednesday morning and collapsed into stillness. It was a shock to my system. I finally sat quietly with all that had been gathered up as I tore through two and half weeks like a tornado. A mantra crept into my being and carried me through the practice: all I can do is be here. As a planner, I'm not naturally inclined to show up to my practice (or life for that matter) and contentedly be present. It's a continual struggle for me to not think ahead or look back constantly. I can count on one hand the distinct memories I have of dropping into a moment and being fully committed to it. I love that feeling, but it sure doesn't happen very often and it's always been a sense of not wanting to be anywhere else.
Wednesday's practice took me by surprise. I hadn't anticipated falling into presence with now out of sheer exhaustion and finding comfort there. To be unable to focus on anything else behind me or ahead of me, to be cradled by the practice, was bliss. I extend my deep gratitude to Jodi Wellman for holding space that allowed each of us to find inner alignment. It was exactly what I needed.